FRIENDS
by Maddz Writes
Summary: These are honestly just random chapters I write about Invader Zim in my free time. Each chapter is different. Characters constantly break the 4th wall, because that's my type of humor. {Cover image is mine, please don't use without my permission}
1. Zim Does Math Homework!

**It is 2:00 in the morning**

Zim is home with Gir, and they are on the sofa, watching a show called ' _The Space Traveling Monkeys_ '.

"This is my favorite show!~" Gir jumps on the sofa, repetitively, annoying Zim.

"Gir! Stop that right now!" Zim turns off the TV.

"Awhhh..." Gir groans. "I wanted to watch that..." He looks down at the floor, full of sadness.

"In order to fulfill my masterplan to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!- I must figure this Earthling garbole-gook." Zim pulled out a sheet of paper out of his bookbag, which is full of confusing math problems.

"Ooooohh! Garbole-gook, I also LOVE that show!" Gir smiles.

"That's NOT a show GIR!" Zim spat. His eyes dart back to the paper. "Humans call this... HOME- WOORK... which I'm guessing is some kind of mind control thing on a sheet of paper. I don't know what it does, but I must be careful with it, do you hear me Gir?"

Gir is rolling in circling on the ground, screaming and laughing, taking excitement in basically nothing.

"Oh boy... what will I do with you?" Zim walks around Gir, and lays the homework on his kitchen table. Gir walks up behind Zim and says, "You knooooooooow... I heard that homework is something kids in skool do when teachers force them to suffer pain. It's supposed to help them learn, but mostly it's just a way to waste time worrying about da FOOOTUUURE."

Zim rolls his eyes. "Yeah, ok, thanks Gir." He sits down on a stool, and stares at the homework, intense music plays behind Zim, as he stares harder and harder at the so called homework. Eventually, Zim shouts "GIR! TURN THAT ACTION MUSIC DOWN!"

Gir jumps. "Oops... sowwy." He shuts the TV off.

"Hmmm... in order to find out more information about this homework stuff, I must call someone smart..." Zim looks over at the phone.

 **RIIING RIIING RIII-**

"Rrghhh... who is this?" A voice from the other side of the phone answers.

"Dibworm, this is Zim, and it's important, I must get help from this torture you humans call... HOME- WOORK..."

"What?" The phone breaks a bit, as if Dib dropped the phone. He quickly picks it back up. "Zim.." his voice is in a whisper now. "Why are you calling me this late at night? It's 2:30 in the morning!? What are you doing, doing homework this late. Most importantly... WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME AT ALL?"

"Please help, I don't even know the first question...-"

Gir interrupts, "I think the first answer is WAFFLES!"

"No Gir, I don't think it's waffles...-"

"What are you guys talking about?" Dib asked, quite confused.

"Ehm... Dib, is the answer to number one waffles?" Zim asks.

"What?" Dib puts his ear closer to the phone.

"Ugh, I can't do this..." Zim screams into the phone. "GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW DIBWORM!"

Dib screeches a bit, his ears ringing by Zim's voice. "Ouch... Zim..."

"Dib!"

"What?"

"GET. OVER. HERE!" Zim breaks each word out.

"I'm NOT going over to your house ZIM!"

 **5 MINUTES LATER**

Zim opens his door, and is greeted to Dib. His hair is in all sorts of messed up positions, he's wearing blue pajamas, and his eyes are bloodshot, you can tell he's still extremely tired. "I hate you Zim." He groans.

"Gawwhhhaa, you guys are such great friends!~" Gir squees.

Dib and Zim sit next to each other in the kitchen. Zim points to the paper, "What is this Dib?"

"I can't believe I'm doing this...-" Dib sighs. He holds up the paper so he can read it clearer. "Ugh, Zim, this is easy. Do you not pay attention in class?"

Zim has to think about that for a second.

 **Flashback(z)**

Ms. Bitters' rambles on about solving x and y, "...and that's basically what we're learning kids." She turns to face the half-asleep kids, droll slipping out of their mouth, except for one lucky student, Dib. Dib is staring in awe at the board. "Now, who understands this?" Dib is the only one whom raises his hand, for every other kid is knocked out cold.

"Good Dib." Ms. Bitters smiles a devious smile. "Since you were the only one listening, I'm sure you're listening to this too." She leans up close to Dib, making him lean backwards. "You just learned the most useless thing ever!" She laughs maniacally. "Looks like you actually have something to relate with for once in this terrible game we call life." She laughs for a while more, Dib's smile slowly fades, his shoulders start to sag. Ms. Bitters walks back to the board, and continues rambling.

Zim looks over at Dib, taking in pleasure over Dib's embarrassment. Zim then takes paper and draws a bunch of stick figures, one presumably Dib and the other Zim. It shows a comic of a stickfigured Zim taking over the world, and Dib tries to stop him. Block letters read,

 _'No Zim! You will never get away with this!'_

Stick figure Zim laughs, saying,

 _'Oooh really Dibworm? BUT I ALREADY HAVE MUWHAHAHA!'_

Then, stickfigure Zim takes out what looks like a lazer beam, and zaps Dib with his beams, stick figure Dib ends up having X's as his eyes, meaning he's probably dead or something, lol idek, this is a weird story.

 **Flashback(z) Ennnd(z)**

"Of cooourse I pay attention in class... DIB. The real question is... DO YOU pay attention in class?" Zim challenges.

 **Another flashback(z) beginsss**

"WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME FOR THIS ZIM!"

 **AAAaannd then it ends..**

"I want to go home, and go asleep before it's too late." Dib says, irritated.

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO ANYWHERE!" Gir screeches happily, making Dib cringe of tiredness. "I'll bake you a cake and we can have a sleepover!" Gir skips over to the cabinet and pulls out ingredients for a cake. "It's gonna be PIIIIIIINNNK!"

"Oh no, you don't have to... oh..." Dib tries to say. Gir already starts throwing flour and random stuff all over the kitchen counter, getting stuff all over the homework.

"Let's finish this elsewhere." Zim says. He goes to grab the homework, but the homework suddenly isn't there. "Hey, where'd it go?" He looks at Dib.

Dib's eyes are barely open. "I..."

"You stole it?"

Dib quickly woke up. "Huh? What?" He looks around. "Ummm... no?"

"YOU STOLE IT!" Zim shouts at Dib and tackles him, pinning him down.

"OooouchhhH!" Dib groans, wincing in pain. "Zim, I-I didn't do anything, I'm too tired to care, and why would I want to take your homework? That makes no sense!"

"Ohhh shut up, Dibworm! I KNOW it was YOU. Who else could it have been?" Gir walks up behind him with a mixing bowl in his hands.

"I'm almost done with the caaaaaaaaake!~"

"Oh yeah..." Zim stops talking. "I STILL KNOW IT WAS-"

"Hey, look outside!" Gir says, pointing outside. "What is all that paper doing all together?"

Dib and Zim look up, Dib still pinned to the ground. "Zim... get off me..."

Zim gets up and he keeps staring. Dib finally sees what's so surprising, and gasps. "Is that... your... my... ALL OUR HOMEWORK?"

Outside, a huge pile of math homework from every kid who was in Ms. Bitters class was laid out on the ground, grouped together, and they were all moving by themself.

"Am I hallucinating from being so tired, or can you see that as well?"

"I can too."

"MEEEEE THREEEE!" Gir smiles.

The paper grew and grew, grouping together until it was almost five feet tall, each paper building the stack higher and higher.

"I don't think we have that many kids in our class..." Dib muttered.

The stack grew taller than everyone in the town's house! Until it finally morphed into a huge human eating homework monster. It slowly slithered around the town, smashing into cars, dumping trash cans, and making a mess!

"I ALWAYS KNEW THIS HOMEWORK THING WAS A BAD IDEA!" Zim yelled at the monster.

"It's gonna destroy everything!" Dib stated in disbelief.

"YEAH IT'S GONNA- wait a minute... You know what this means, right Dib?"

"Yeah, it means I have to stop it!" Dib jumps up, getting into a fake karate stance, but because of his lack of sleep, he falls flat on his face. "With your help, of course..."

"Help? Who, you?" Zim pauses. "HAHAHAHA! NOOOOOOOOO! no." Zim stands up on a crushed car. "Just look at what this monster can do! It sure can destroy anything when it's mad... or hungry.. or something... but the point is, is that I'm going to take the monster as my own so that I can TAKE OVER THE WORLD WITH IT!"

"Keep it as what? As a pet?" Dib asks.

"No, that's Gir's job." Zim responds.

Gir walks about behind them. "The cakes baaaaaking!~ I got myself a soda!"

"Well, ZIM, if you really want to take that monster as your own, you'll have to beat me to it." Dib snatches the soda bottle out of Gir's hand, pops the cap off, and chugs the entire bottle. He hands it back to Gir. "Thanks Gir."

"Oh, don't worry. There's more in the fridge!" Gir walks back into the house, heading for the kitchen to get more sodas.

Zim and Dib race each other over the monster, Zim reaches it first. He starts to climb the monster, until he felt a large stinging sensation on his hands. He lift up one hand to see what was wrong, and he came to the conclusion that he had teeny-tiny paper cuts all over his hands. He screamed, and fell off the monster with a THUD!

Dib ran over to his side. "Why weren't you wearing your gloves?" He asked, trying desperately not to laugh at Zim's misery.

"I DOOOOOOOOOON'T KNOOOOOOOW!" Zim screamed.

The monster heard Zim's cries, and it started to turn around, getting ready to eat both Zim and Dib. Zim ran over to his house. "GIR, GET ME MY GLOVES!" Zim said, shaking his hands, "AND MY MIND-CONTROLLING DEVISE!"

Gir nodded and ran inside to fetch those things for Zim.

Dib, who was hiding behind a crushed trash can, was looking through his bookbag, searching for gloves. Once he found them and put them on, he also reached in and pulled out a large, blue sword, super shiny. He jumped out of his hiding place and started climbing the monster, getting ready to slice.

Zim squealed. "HURRY GIR!"

Gir quickly ran over to Zim with all the things Zim needed and things for himself. Gir was holding a large bowl of popcorn and a box filled with different kinds of sodas.

"Gir... why do you have those?"

"They're for the action sequence." Gir says, pointing to Dib cutting the monster open.

"Oh, thanks for reminding me!" Zim zoomed back into action.

Dib tried as much as he could to break the monster, he sliced and cut at the paper, but since the homework was all folded and the edges were placed in different positions, it was very difficult to cut anything. Sweat drip from Dib's forehead, all the way down to his chin, and it slid off his face with a little _drip, drop!_ Dib dropped his sword in defeat, until he noticed that his sweat was causing the monster to slowly tear apart.

Dib facepalmed himself. "No DUH! The monsters made out of PAPER! I can just destroy him with water!" Dib opened up his pack, taking everything out so he could find water. "I don't seem to have any...-" He was suddenly pushed off the monster with a large force, Zim! Zim not only had a mind-controlling devise, but he was also holding a lazer gun. Zim shot a beam at Dib, barely missing his big head.

"Now look who's in the lead, DIB!" Zim laughed, mockingly. "I guess Snow White needs a nap."

"Um... you mean Sleepy Beauty... right?"

"Yeah. That chick." Zim jumped up, climbing closer and closer to being able to use his devise correctly. Dib stared up at him, trying to think up a quick plan, but it seemed that he had failed.

"Heeeyyyy Dib!" Gir called out to him from his front lawn. "You look tired again, would you like another soda?"

Dib shook his head, holding his temples from a massive headache. "No... I just...- wait... did you say, soda?"

"Yeah! I have grape soda! Cherry soda! Berry soda! Soda-soda!"

"I'll take all of them!"

"Wow, looks like someone really needs soda." Gir giggles. He hands the whole box to Dib. "Here ya go! I probably should check up on the cake."

"Yeah, you go ahead and do that," Dib said. He tore open the box and threw all the sodas into his backpack. He turned around to see that Zim has finally used his devise, the homework monster was completely in Zim's control. Zim was planning on destroying the entire city! Dib shook his head, running straight up to the monster, holding the backpack in front of him.

"No Zim! You will never get away with this!"

Zim laughs, saying "Oooh really Dibworm? BUT I ALREADY HAVE MUWHAHAHA!"

Zim shoots a lazer beam at Dib, but the lazer hit Dib's bookbag instead. The bookbag and all the sodas inside exploded, the fizzy liquid was spraying everywhere. There was so much soda, it hit the monsters papery legs, and slowly the monster began to dissolve. Since the monster was paper, it couldn't feel any pain, but Zim was sure angry.

"NO!" Zim cried. He slid off his half-dissolved killing-machine, trying to clump the wet paper together, instead it made a gross pasty mess.

"YES!" Dib shouted with glee. He pumped his fist in the air, only to be greeted with a sharp pain the his stomach, like he's been kicked in the gut. "Ouch!" He doubled over, grabbing his stomach.

"HA! Now, Dib, for killing my monster, you have to survive through those pains, probably caused by the lazer." Zim grabbed his devise, which was broken. The paste made the devise all wet. He then got his lazer gun, which was still intact. "I would shoot you again, but I'm suddenly very tired. Might as well go back home to bed, Dib. You need the sleep."

Dib tried to get up, but with every step, he felt nausea. He couldn't walk more than five steps without having to stop again.

"You're not gonna help me?" Dib asked, kind of sad to hear this.

"Help? Who, you? NO." Zim walked inside his house, Gir was waiting by the door.

Gir walked over to Dib and handed him a piece of cake. "This should help your pains. Probably..." Gir said, then he walked back inside.

"Probably? What does that...-" But everyone was already gone.

Dib stared at the cake for a while, wondering what was in the cake, or if it was even ok for him to eat it. He shrugged, picked up the fork, and slowly ate the flavorful cake Gir made.

* * *

 _Want to see my Invader Zim FanArt on YouTube?-_ **Channel is called "Maddz Draws".**

 _Like this? You may also like my Gravity Falls FanFiction!-_ **It's called "We'll Meet Again". You can easily find it on my profile.**


	2. Zim and Dib's Thanksgiving Dinner!

**I just wanted to thank the people who've left a review and the people who are following this story. ;3 It means a lot! I honestly didn't think that people would find out about this story until a while later, but the fact that people found out about it the day I posted it up really means a lot to me! Anyway, sorry that this chapter is late, I wanted to post it on Thanksgiving morning but I was busy with other stuff and I didn't finish it. But here it is:**

* * *

Zim is at his house, laying on the couch, bored out his mind. Gir jumps up, plopping on the couch next to Zim.

"Whatcha doin'?" Gir asks, poking Zim's face.

"I WANT to do SOMETHING!" Zim stares at the ceiling. "But what...?" Zim flops down, landing his face on the cushion. He screams loudly into it, the sound extremely muffled.

' _Awh, poor Zim._ ' Gir thought to himself. He started to pet Zim's head. "Don't worry Zim! Something epic will happen in your future, I guarantee it!" Gir said, in the cutest voice ever.

"Why are you petting my head, Gir?"

Suddenly, the doorbell went off. Zim zipped his head up in surprise. He cautiously peeked out his window, only to see a big headed boy with large glasses on. It was Dib!

"Dib! What?" Zim trudged to the door, opening it with a THUD! "Why are you here?" Zim asks, questioning Dib.

"Oh hi Zim." Dib smiles creepily. "HAPPY THANKSGIVING!" He shouts. Dib holds a confetti machine, he pulls a string, and confetti flies on Zim's deadpan expressionless face.

"Thanksgiving?" Zim asks, raising an eyebrow, not even reacting to the confetti.

"Yeah! Everyone likes Thanksgiving!" Dib explains. "Football, food, fun-and another word that begins with an 'F' but shall not be named because this FanFict is rated K+- IT'S ALL ON THANKSGIVING!" Dib poses, confetti flies behind him, and he is holding the biggest smile on his face.

Zim doesn't react. "What is the catch... DIBWORM."

"Catch... wha-what do you mean? Hehe... uh, there is none." Dib leans back and forth on his feet, awkwardly.

"There always is..."

"OK OK!" Dib sighs. "Because you care OH SO MIGHTILY MUCH-"

"I don't..."

"I'll tell you the catch, ZIMWORM." He takes a piece of paper out of his trench-coat pocket, which appears to be an invitation. "My father is hosting a big Thanksgiving Day feast, and he wants TONS of people to come, but since everyone is an lazy stereotypical American now-a-days, no one WANTS to go! And... well, my father gets depressed every Thanksgiving. During Thanksgiving you SHOULDN'T be depressed. It's a great holiday. Anyway..." Dib sighs.

"I wanted you to go to the feast..." Dib finishes.

Zim jumps back in disgust. "UGH! Go somewhere? With you? And your gross family? Thanks, but I have IMPORTANT TAKING OVER THE WORLD KIND OF STUFF TO DO!" Zim starts to close the door, but Dib sticks his foot in it last minute.

"WAIT-" Dib starts. "I-I'm not doing this because I like you. I'm doing this because I want my dad to be happy. Soooo... as much as I hate to ask... again..." Dib closes his eyes. "I REALLY REALLY NEED YOU ZIM."

"Need me?" Zim laughs. "Oh please, that sounds like a really gross romantic based FanFict-about a man wanting to do a word that begins with an 'F' to a girl and shall not be named because this FanFict is rated K+- and quite frankly, I'm SURE you can find someone else to join your pity-party. Like what about that Keef kid? Don't you like him?"

"Keef? We hardly talk!"

"Oh. That's too bad."

Zim starts to close the door again, but Dib sticks his foot in front of it again.

"Oh please Zim! I'm only asking you to do this one simple thing for me! I promise I'll never ask anything of you again. Please?"

Zim stares at Dib for a while more, then sighs. "Ugh. Fine. It's not like I have much going on on this boring day anyway."

"Yes!" Dib jumps in the air, pumping his fist up. "Just get dressed up in a nice suit or something." Dib starts to leave, but then turns back. "OH! Also, could you bring Gir?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Alright, BYE!" Dib hops away, clearly full of excitement.

Zim slams the door shut, locking it just in case Dib comes back. "Gir, get into your dog suit, we have to go to the store to buy what Dib mentions is a 'nice suit'... whatever that is..."

Gir zips up his dog-suit as Zim slowly puts on his fake contacts. And then they head out, off to get ready for Dib's Thanksgiving feast.

* * *

 **AN HOUR OR SO LATER- AT DIB'S HOUSE**

Dib is wearing a nice shirt with clean blue jeans. He stares down at his watch, getting impatient. _Where's Zim? I thought he'd be here by now._

Gaz, Dib's sister, is sitting beside Dib. She is wearing a pretty black dress with her usual skull necklace. Her hair is all curly, and is parted differently. You can tell she isn't very comfortable wearing a dress, as she twitches and continuously scratches herself.

"Ugh! This dress is so itchy!" She complains, getting upset. Then she turns to Dib. "Didn't you say you invited someone over here? Where are they, it's getting late."

"Don't worry about it." Dib grits his teeth, despite the fact he's worrying just as much as she is.

Doctor Membrane walks out of the kitchen with a delicious turkey in his hands. He sets it on the table. "Oooh! I'm so excited to have someone actually come over for Thanksgiving. For once!"

"Daaad... why DID we have to invite someone? It's bad enough having Mr. Dork sitting next to me." Gaz spat, glaring over at Dib.

"Nonsense, Gaz, I'm sure whomever it is will be a very nice person."

Gaz glares over at Dib. "Who did you get exactly?"

Dib started getting anxious, he kept staring at his watch, unable to blink. "He should be here any minute now!"

Suddenly, the doorbell rang, Dib jumps up with nervousness, and Doctor Membrane skips over to the door. He opens the door and exclaims, "She's here!"

"Oh, that's good...- SHE?!" Dib leans so far off the chair, it looks like he's about to fall.

Zim walks up to the table, wearing a silky red dress with red high-heels. He has red lipstick slaughtered all over his face and his smoky eye-shadow was spread un-evenly on each eye. His dress was very sparkly, almost blinding. He was also wearing a long, wavy blonde wig, with random brunette colored streaks. Next to him, Gir was in his usual dog-suit. Gir stands next to Zim, and starts touching his dress. Zim kicks him aside.

"But it's sooo sparkly!" Gir says, sad that Zim kicked him back.

Gaz immediately recognized Gir's voice, her mouth flew open in surprise, and then it slowly developed into a mischievous smile. She started giggling like crazy, tears forming in her eyes.

Dib's mouth was wide open in shock.

"Honey, close your mouth or else you'll catch flies." Zim says in the most high-pitched voice. He sashays over to his seat, standing by his chair, waiting for Gir to pull it out for him. Gir does so, and Zim sits down. All the while Gaz is holding her mouth, trying hard to hide her snickers, but it was clear she found it hilarious because tears were falling off her cheek.

Doctor Membrane sat down next to Zim and handed him some cranberry sauce. Zim takes the cranberry sauce, examining it.

"Soooo" Doctor Membrane started. "What is your name?" He asks, looking at Zim.

"My name?" Zim glances over at Gir. "Yes... my name..." He stands up on the chair, "My name is Zam The Best! You all WILL refer to me as Zam The Best!"

Gir jumps up in enthusiasm "OOH OOH WHAT'S MY NAME? WHAT'S MINE?"

Zim glares down at him, still standing on the chair. "And that's my pet... Prince Tu-Tu, but I like to refer to him as the Mentally Challenged. You can just call him Gir."

Gir laughs with glee. "Oh my gosshhh! Zam just said my name!"

Zim stares at Gir with a blank look and then flops back down of the chair.

"So.. Zam..." Gaz mocks, "Are you and Dib DATING?"

"What?" Dib glares at Gaz.

"What? You're the one telling me I'm not social enough." Gaz responds, pretending to be polite.

"Me and Dib? Ha! Never! We have been good... acquaintances for some time now..." Zim responds.

"Well its good to knowing Dib is finally getting along with someone. You see... Dib doesn't make a lot of friends in class." Doctor Membrane rambles.

"Oh trust me, I know that already." Zim says.

"Zim!" Dib shouts.

"Zim? Oh, why I've never heard of such a name." Zim looks around.

Dib sighs. "Zam..."

"You will refer to me as 'Zam, The Best'."

Gaz bursts out laughing.

"Why Gaz, how rude, Zam is a friend of ours. We should treat her the way she wants to be treated."

Doctor Membrane starts to cut the turkey, he hands Gaz a turkey leg and then gives the next one to Zim. Zim stares at it with disgust. He slides his plate away from him. "I've seem to lost my appetite all of a sudden..." Zim states.

Gir tugs on Zim's dress. "OH OH! May I have the yummy yummy turkey leg PLEEEEASE!" He screeches.

"Yeah, sure." Zim throws the leg down at Gir, Gir snatches and gnaws at it hungrily.

"Hey Zam." Gaz laughs. "Dib talks about you a lot, he says he has a crush on you!"

Dib turns pink. "What are you talking about?"

Gaz laughs. "Don't deny it, you and your big head has a thing for Mrs. FancyPants here." Gaz continues to snicker.

"That's enough kids... just because Dib has a crush on Zam doesn't mean you must openly admit it in front of her."

"Dad! But I don't!" Dib argues.

"It's ok son. There's nothing to be embarrassed about."

Dib grunts, both angry and bewildered. He stands up. "I need to talk to Zam and Prince Tu-Tu alone."

"Ohhhh do you now?" Gaz continues to mock.

Zim looks away, his arms crossed. "That's not my name."

"What but I thought...-"

"Until you refer to me to what you must, I shall not follow you."

Dib rolled his eyes, quite irritated. "Ok.. FINE. Zam The Best, please bring Prince Tu-Tu with you, I really need to talk to you."

Zim glanced over at Dib, wondering if he should follow him or not. "OOooookay... follow me Gir." Zim got off he seat and walked with Dib, Gir slowly behind their heels.

They entered Dib's bedroom, Dib closed the door while Zim pulls off his wig, Zim says, "Hey Dib, look it's me! Your family isn't very bright, I mean, your father was VEEEEERY gullible. Hehe!"

Dib rubbed his temples. "Yes Zim, I KNEW it was you."

"Oh really?" Zim asked, pausing. "Well the rest of your family are idiots."

"Gaz knew it was you too! That's why she was laughing so much!"

Zim paused, yet again. "I thought she was laughing at you. You're really easy to laugh at you know." Zim started giggling.

Dib grunted. "By 'a nice suit' I didn't mean for you to dress up in a dress!"

"This is a dress?" Zim gestured to his pink sparkly dress.

"YES!"

"Well, it's not MY fault DIBWORM! When you invited me to your little party, I decided to go shopping for something nice, regal and sparkly. So when I made it to the mall, some creepy-looking human girl smiled at me and told me that this was the perfect outfit. I was running out of time, so I just decided to buy it." Zim went on a long rant. "Would you have liked it if I were later?"

"Zim, I think you should go home." Dib responds, tired.

"You want me to leave?" Zim fakes a sad expression. He holds his head back, with his hand over it dramatically. "You want me to leave you with your poor father depressed like he is every year because no one stays with him and his family for Thanksgiving dinner? You were the one to tell me that Thanksgiving is all about happiness and fun and thanking and all that cheesy stuff you Earthlings enjoy for some reason."

Gir looked up at Dib. "I wanted to eat more of that turkey leg." He said, actually sad.

Dib didn't know what to think, but he knew he couldn't let them leave. His father would be extremely devastated and there really was no point in letting Zim go. They were halfway done with dinner, he might as well finish it up and then force Zim to get out of his house.

"Alright, you can stay." Dib sighed, he held up his hands in defeat. "But then you have to leave, like go immediately. And never bring up this 'Zam' girl again."

Gir jumped up. "Yaaaaay! More food!" He screeched happily.

And so Dib, Zam, and Prince Tu-Tu went back to the table, to finish up their food. Although it was difficult, Dib ignored his sister's attempts at annoying him. Zim constantly talked about him TAKING OVER THE WORLD and Gir was hungrily munching at all the food, till the point there was nothing left to eat. It was getting late, and once Gir ate the last of the pumpkin pie, everyone was tired.

Doctor Membrane started developing tears in his eyes. "Well..." He muttered, his throat clogging up. He wiped a tear away with his gloves. "I'm very happy you came over to eat with us, Zam." He shook Zim's hand with earnest. Zim was starting to lose circulation to his hand. Dib could tell, so he turned over to his father and said,

"Um... dad, I think it's time Zam left now."

"Oh, yes, of course." Doctor Membrane let go of Zim's hand, trying desperately not to cry tears of joy. "Well, goodbye."

Zim attached a leash to Gir's collar. "Awwwh... we're leaving this soon?" Gir asked.

Zim and Gir jumped down the stairs to Dib's house, and started heading home. Doctor Membrane ran over to the edge of their stoop, waving his hand wildly he shouted, "Bye Zam, can't wait to see you again next year."

Dib, overhearing this, his eyes widen. He quickly slide across the room to stand next to his father. "Or maybe not, I mean, we never know is these circumstances. Bye, bye, bye, bye!" Dib caught his father's hand, slowly pulling him inside the house, and then they shut the door.

 _Thanksgiving isn't too much of a terrible human holiday._ Zim thought to himself, as he gradually made it home, walking through the crispy cold weather.


	3. The Box

Zim is leaving skool, and he slowly stops by the stairs. Rain is pouring, large grey thunderclouds lay above, covering the entire sky. Dib slams into Zim slightly, pushing him into the rain, making his skin fizz. He jumps back, screaming. "Arrrrrrggghhhh noooooO! THE RAIIIINNNNN! AAAARGHH!"

Dib points and laughs, mockingly. Zim gets up, his eyes glazed at Dib, burning holes in his big head. "You pathetic fool Dib! Why can't you do something good for once and leave me alone?"

Dib doesn't answer, all he does is laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh.

The rain softens the grass, making small puddles on the cement sidewalks, and the dirt turned all muddy and sticky. Gaz saw Dib laughing hysterically at Zim, and she just rolled her eyes. She walked up to Dib, her shoes squishing in the mud. "Dib, are you going home or are you going to waste time doing... _this..._ "

Dib didn't answer, so Gaz rolled her eyes, once again, and decided just to leave.

Around the corner of the street, Gir is walking, skipping around in his dog suit, headed to meet Zim at skool.

"Gir, oh there you are!" Zim waved Gir over.

Gir jumped up next to him. "Hello master!" He exclaimed. "It is really rainy out today!"

"Yesssss" Zim shuddered at the sight of the rain. It finally calmed down a bit, just drizzling.

"Come on Zim," Gir pulled Zim's hand. "It finally stopped!"

Zim didn't budge. He was staring at the wet cement and the muddy grass. He squinted, looking around, trying to find out if there was any way he could get home without getting wet. Whenever a certain amount of water touched his skin, his skin would start to crackle, almost like a fire in a fireplace. The pain was so abnormal and every time it rained, he just wanted to run away full of fright.

"Zim, why weren't you wearing that lotion you created to keep your skin from shriveling up like that? I thought you made something like that a long time ago." Dib asked.

Zim didn't say anything, he only glared harder at Dib.

"Come on, Zim." Gir pulled at his arm again, this time he actually made Zim follow him. Zim's boots started getting squishy from the puddles, and Zim could feel a bit of the water at his feet. He winced a bit, hoping he wouldn't fall over and get hurt. Dib followed close behind Zim.

"Go away, Dib." Zim said, turning around.

Dib pretended he wasn't following them. "What? Follow you? But I wasn't! What ever could you be talking about?" Dib asked. He held his hands behind his back like a innocent child.

Zim only stared a while more. He rolled his eyes, turning back on his heels to go home.

It was obvious Dib was following Zim, Zim could hear Dib's shortened breaths, but Zim was too tired to care. Zim merely wanted to make it home before the storm clouds made their way back here, he was sure that it was going to be a very rainy couple of hours.

As they headed home, Gir and Zim walked near a consignment store, just as the clouds started gaining their way. The rain slowly dripped over to Zim. Zim jumped in the air, extremely frightened. "GIR GO INSIDE THAT STORE THINGY!" Zim yelled, adrenaline overthrowing his body. Behind him, Dib snickered to himself as Zim ran inside the consignment store, making a huge fool of himself in public.

Once they were inside, Zim sighed full of relief. He glanced outside, staring at the rain. It poured wildly, little ripples bounced off the sidewalk. Millions of puddles, both large and small were developing rapidly. Water trickled down the roads, into sewer gutters and other areas. Zim, getting anxious, slowly backed away from the window, and tripped, falling on a basket filled with umbrellas. He picked up one of the umbrellas. Zim stared at it, questioning what the strange invention is used for. He clicks one part of it, and the umbrella opens, startling Zim. Zim still, not understanding what it's used for, stares at it even longer.

Across from Zim is a man, probably in his mid-30s, standing behind the counter. He looks at Zim with tired expression. "Are you going to buy that or not? You know its bad luck to open an umbrella indoors."

Zim glances over at the man. "What sort of invention is this?" He asks, dramatically.

The man chuckles. "You're kidding, right?"

"No."

The man sighs, facepalming himself he mutters to himself, "I need to move out of this town..." then he looks back up at Zim. "It's called an umbrella. You open it outside, and it blocks the rain from touching you."

Zim smiles with surprise. "WOW! This invention might actually be useful for once!"

"Yeah, sure, whatever you believe kid." The man rolls his eyes sarcastically.

"Gir, where are you?" Zim calls out. "I've found something that will... huh?"

Gir is playing around with a box, he thinks, then he reaches in the box, and pulls out a taco. "YAAAAAY!" Gir laughed happily. He then bite into the juicy taco, delight spreading onto his face.

Zim walked over to the box. "What was that?"

"Look Zim!" Gir said, pointing to the box. "You just use your imagination...-" Gir thought about another taco and reached into the box, pulling out yet another taco.

Zim glared at Gir, annoyingly. "Gir, you just put tacos in there didn't you?"

"No! No!" Gir jumped up, trying to convince Zim. "I promise. Look, would you like a candy-bar?" He asked, reaching into the box again, pulling a candy-bar out. "What about some fries?" He then pulled out fries. "Or hot coca? Or a blanket? Or a piggy?" Gir pulled out all those items, hugging the piggy close to him. "Actually... the piggies mine."

Zim stared at the box for a while more.

"Come on Zim, give it a try!" Gir encouraged him.

Zim nodded, walking up closer to the box, as if he was hypnotized to touch it. _Hmmm... what should I think about? Um, moneys?_

Zim reached into the box, and pulled out 100$. Zim was so full of surprise, his mouth opened up in shock. He dropped the money by accident, and then reached into the box to try something else. _A phone?_ He pulled his hand out of the box, and in his hand was a phone.

"Sooo... you can receive anything you want as long as you imagine it in your mind?"

"Seems so." Gir said with a smile.

A menacing smile started spreading on Zim's face, his sharp teeth making it even creeper.

"Hey, kid, are you going to buy something?" The man behind the counter shouted.

Zim stopped smiling and then turned around to face the man. "Um... well," Zim started thinking of an excuse. "I've suddenly changed my mind. Instead of this invention-thingy... would you care if I took this box instead?" Zim carefully picked up the box, a huge smile plastered on his face. The man only stared at him.

"Yeah, whatever you'd like." The man sighed.

Zim smiled, and then tapped Gir's shoulder. "C'mon Gir, it's time to go home."

Gir jumped up, following behind Zim, and they exited the consignment store. Zim stopped right before his skin touched the rain, and he reached into the box, pulling out a umbrella in a much better quality than the one Zim found in the store. He opened it up and handed Gir the box.

"Hold the box Gir, DON'T get it wet, I don't know what could happen to it."

Gir nodded, and gripped the box with all his strength. They both went straight home, cautiously watching the rain.

* * *

 **The next day at skool**

Zim was extremely happy, he had his own backpack he pulled out from the box, and in that backpack held the box itself. Yesterday, once Zim caught hold of the box, he was learning how it worked, using his imagination to pull out anything he wanted. And the best part was: he could use it anytime! Trying it out at skool was the number one thing Zim was planning to do, especially using it to embarrass Dib. Zim couldn't help but smile with all the happiness contained inside of him.

Zim sat down in his seat and automatically noticed Dib staring across at him from across the room. Dib walked up to Zim's desk. "That's a nice backpack Zim, what's in it? Alien voodoo? A human brain you're testing on? Huh? Huh? HUH?"

Zim only stared at Dib with a smug look. "Oh trust me Dib, there's something MUCH better than those things in here."

Dib's eyes widen. "Yeah well.." He muttered. "Whatever it is, I have my eyes on you."

Ms. Bitters slithered creepily into the classroom. "Sit down Dib." She spat. Once everyone was seated Ms. Bitters continued class. She mostly talked about how dreadful and terrible life was in the future, and how death will probably be everyone's best friend, but Zim wasn't listening, and Dib wasn't really either. Dib kept glancing at Zim, with a anxious look. Every time Zim made a sudden motion, Dib would look up at him with fear, clearly intimated by what is inside Zim's backpack.

Zim ignored Dib, but he knew Dib was frightened, so he used that fear to his advantage. "I know what you mean Ms. Bitters." Zim said in the middle of his teacher's speech. "Life can be scary sometimes." Zim glared at Dib with a mischievous look.

Dib started to get sweaty, but he tried to keep his posture and he glared back at Zim with a semi-threatening look.

"Zim... did I ask for your opinion?"

Zim looked at Ms. Bitters. "Um... no?"

"Then stop talk-" The bell rang for lunch, interrupting Ms. Bitters speech once again. "Ugh, well I guess it's lunch time for your miserable lives. Now go, I don't want to see you anytime soon."

"It just might be the last lunch of our lives." Zim said in a whisper, looking straight at Dib once again.

Dib shivered. _What is THAT supposed to mean?_

Dib got out of his seat and quickly caught up with Zim's speed. Zim was heading to lunch abnormally fast. Zim didn't like cafeteria food unlike most of the kids at skool did. _Why is Zim headed to the cafeteria so quickly?_ Dib thought. _Doesn't he hate lunch food?_

Dib finally arrived and he looked around the large cafeteria room, searching for Zim, but there were too many people around.

"Hi Dib."

Dib jumped, skittishly, and turned to spot Zim. Zim was sitting at a lunch table, all alone, with a box in front of him. It was just an ordinary box, nothing special about it.

"Was that the thing in your backpack?" Dib asked, pointing to the box. "That's not scary Zim." Dib started to giggle.

Zim grinned. "Oh, well, it won't be very funny in a second... Dib..."

Zim reached into the box. "You see Dib, this is no random box I found in a dumpster or something stupid like that, come closer and take a peek for yourself."

Dib rolled his eyes. He started to walk closer until he slipped and fell on his face. Everyone in the cafeteria turned and laughed at him. Dib looked up with shock. "Hey! Nothing was there, how could I have slipped?" He got on his knees, and glanced behind him, with another surprising sight. There was a puddle of water Dib slipped over. Dib took a long look at it, as if it didn't really exist. "That wasn't there before!" He tried to get up, but fell once again. Everyone kept laughing.

Zim walked up to Dib, the box still in his hands. "Oh poor Dib. Would you like a hand?" Zim pulled out a amputated arm. Dib glanced up, and then struck back with disgust, hitting his head on the ground.

"Ahh! A hand?!"

Zim started laughing along with everyone else. Dib was both grossed-out and angry. He kicked Zim's shin, making Zim drop the box, the box landed in front of Dib, and he picked it up.

Dib shoved his hand in the box, not really sure what to do.

 _What does this do?_ Dib thought, looking around up at the sky. _Ugh, if only water would just fall over Zim right now, now THAT would be funny._

"Hey!" Zim shouted, surprised that Dib would steal his box like that. "Dib, you don't even know how to use that-" As if it was magic, a large amount of water splashed down on Zim, making his skin fizz. He fell to the floor in fetal position, screaming in agony. Zim looked back up at Dib, his eye's full of anger.

Kids in the cafeteria stopped laughing, realizing how angry Zim actually was. They slowly started backing away.

Zim's anger grew larger, growling at Dib, he ran at him. Dib rolled over, still holding the box, and started to run in the opposite direction, but he hit the cafeteria table, and doubled over, holding his stomach at the pain. Zim picked up the box and pulled out a small knife. Dib got up, holding onto the table's side for support and starting to run away from Zim, screaming.

Zim chased Dib all the way into the kitchen area where all the lunch food was kept. Zim stabbed near Dib, barely missing, and instead tore open into a package filled with meat, all the packages fell on each other, and Zim watched in anguish as the packages toppled over, knocking down jars filled with water. The jars broke, the water spilled, hurting Zim. Dib stole the box from Zim again, and pulled out handcuffs to stop Zim from fighting him. Dib tried to handcuff Zim, but Zim quickly pushed Dib away. Dib fell down on his back, holding onto the box tightly, and Zim pinned Dib down, trying to pull Dib's grip off the box.

"Let GO of it!" Zim shouted.

"NO! Not until you get off me!" Dib shouted back.

Zim was feeling fatigue. He was starting to get weaker, mostly because of the pain he still felt after having all the water splash on him, but he was also tired of Dib trying to ruin his life, and his box.

"Why are YOU always getting your nose into MY business!?" Zim screeched, kicking Dib a few times. "You ALWAYS ruin MY LIFE!"

"ME? Ruin YOUR life?!" Dib cringed from the blows he received from Zim. "You are always trying to hurt me somehow! It's all your fault we got into this fight anyway!"

Zim paused for a second, staring into Dib's eyes. "No! This all started yesterday, when you slammed into me ON PURPOSE so you could see me fizz in the rain! You give ME pain!"

Dib finally kicked Zim off of him. Zim was thinking of pouncing back on Dib, but then decided not to. His arms were aching, and there was really nothing left to do. Zim has scars and bruises on his face and so did Dib.

"Give me my box back." Zim said, holding his hand out, hoping for it to be placed in his hands.

Dib stared at Zim for a while. He sighed, knowing that handing it back to him would be a dumb decision, but he did it anyway. But to his surprise, Zim didn't use it against him. Instead, Zim reached into the box, thought for a long while, and then suddenly the box disappeared, almost in thin air.

Dib was in shock. "Wha... you... huh?"

"Yeah, yeah I know." Zim interrupted him. Zim kept glaring at Dib's shocked expression. He slowly started to leave the kitchen until Ms. Bitters walked in on them, making them both surprised.

"What is going on in here?" She cried, glancing around at the huge mess they made. "This is insane!" She looked straight at Zim and then Dib. "You two are staying here and cleaning this mess. Then you'll both meet me after in detention. I hope you two like cleaning the chewing gum underneath the desks!"

Ms. Bitters grabbed mops and cleaning supplies, and handed them to both to Dib and Zim, in a aggressive way.

Zim sighed. "Great. I shouldn't have gotten rid of that box so soon."

Dib sighed with him. "This is the only time I'll ever agree with you."

"GET TO WORK!" Ms. Bitters yelled, making Zim and Dib turn on their heels, quickly cleaning everything up.

Little did they know, Gir was at a consignment store with a box in front of him, pulling out as many tacos as he'd ever want. Stuffed animal piggies lay next to him, and he lay on them like they were a golden throne. Gir hugged the box close to him.

"I LOOOVE you box!~"


	4. The Spelling Bee Of Doom!

Dib's piercing black eyes glazed burning holes into Zim's green alien head. Gaz was sitting next to him in the cafeteria, not paying attention to anything, just playing on her Game Slave 2 as per usual.

"Look at him, Gaz." Dib spat, bringing Gaz with an annoyed sigh. "His head is just as obnoxiously giant as mine!"

On the other side of the room sat Zim alone, staring at the lunch food with pure disgust. He slowly reached down, picking up the greasy hamburger with his gloves still on, and took a small bite of it. Suddenly, he spat it out and screamed like he was in pain.

Dib jumped up. "LOOK GAZ! Zim can't even eat normal human food! He's AN ALIEN! How many times do I have to say he's an alien? A-L-E-E-N!"

"That's not how you spell alien, stupid." Gaz finally glanced from her Game Slave, her eyes bulging out of her sockets with annoyance. "And like you, NO ONE can eat gross cafeteria food."

Dib's shoulder's sagged. "Yeah, well, that shouldn't excuse the fact that he's AN ALIEN!"

Gaz growled. "Shut up Dib! That's all you ever talk about! God, it's like you don't care about anyone in your own family! All who you think about is that stupid alien kid who couldn't take over the world even if he tried his damnedest because he's a moron just like you! And, you know, if he wasn't actually an alien, or if you just got to know him, you would actually have a friend in your pitiful life!"

Dib was in shock. He was used to his sister yelling and pushing him around, but he's never heard her go this far.

Gaz merely grunted, forcefully picking up her Game Slave, she stormed away to a different cafeteria table. Dib sighed in anguish. Maybe his sister was right. Maybe he should get to know Zim, even if there was a gigantic fact that he was an alien trying to take over Ear...-

Wait a minute... what was he thinking? Being friends with Zim? Ha! Like that'll ever happen.

Dib looked up from the table to see Zim was staring at a poster on the wall. Dib squinted, trying to see what the poster read, but he couldn't with Zim getting in the way.

Dib walked up to Zim. "What are you reading?"

Zim gestured to the poster. "Spelling... Bee? What is this Spelling Bee you dirty monkey-humans speak of?"

Dib rolled his eyes. "Well... of course you wouldn't know. A Spelling Bee is basically an 'educational' activity school's take part in where they ask students in different classes and grades to spell different words and whomever spells the most words correctly wins a prize."

"A prize?" Zim's eyes light up, despite him wearing contacts. "Oooh... does the prize involve taking over the world?"

"No..."

"What about owning the Government and telling everyone to DESTROY MAN-KIND!"

"No..."

"Well, how about KILLING ALL THE PUPPIES AND DOGGIES, THEREFORE MAKING THE HUMANS DEPRESSED and then... THEY ALL KILL THEMSELVES!"

"Wow... that's kind of harsh." Dib stated. "And no."

Zim grunted. "Well, what is this prize?"

"A shiny trophy the teachers say is real gold, but is actually just yellow plastic that easily breaks."

Zim rubbed his chin in thought. "Hmmm... YOU LIE!" He shouted, pointing an accusing finger at Dib.

"What? What are you talking abo-"

"There must be more to this 'Spelling Bee' than what meets the eye! You are clearing lying so you can try out for the Spelling Bee so YOU can win and then own the Government and kill the puppies and kitties AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD so YOU can KILL ME!" Zim snarled, his voice booming with volume, causing a couple kids around the scene to overhear, including Gaz.

Gaz glared angrily at Dib.

Dib gulped, swinging his left leg as a nervous habit. "No Zim, that's not what I'm trying to-"

"STOP TALKING YOU UGLY EARTHLING who's breath REEKS of..." Zim sniffed for a while. "Actually, I have no idea what that scent is... BUT IT'S DISGUSTING! DISGUSTING I SAY!"

Dib stared at Zim with a deadpan expression. He sighed. "Zim... I was never PLANNING on entering the Spelling Bee. But if you really want me to, so I can prove you WRONG, then I will."

Zim smiled mischievously. "Hmm... I am impressed with your competitive spirit. Well... good luck." Zim was about to leave the cafeteria doors, but before he could, he was stopped by Dib spitting in hand and pressing it against Zim's gloved hand. Zim stared in disgust down at their two hands touching.

"What are you doing?!" Zim asked, disturbed beyond all belief.

"Shaking your hand. It's what opponents from different teams do to show sportsmanship." Dib smiled.

Zim merely pushed Dib's hand away, rudely. "YEAH! What if I told you where I come from, we punch our opponents to show sportsmanship!"

"Well it's a dandy-good thing we don't live there."

Zim rolled his eyes, wiping his glove off a towel, and left the cafeteria with plans to destroy Dib at the Spelling Bee.

* * *

"GIR!"

Gir stopped slurping on his chocolate slurpie for one second when hearing his name. He put the drink down and pounced off the couch, smiling up at Zim with his cute cyan eyes. "Heyo Massta! How was skool for you today?"

"Terrible... just terrible like every other stinky human day." Zim trudged in, still thinking about the Spelling Bee. "But there is hope. Gir, do you know what a Spelling Bee is?"

Zim realized who he asked a complicated question to, slapped himself in the face. Gir laughed.

"I think I do!" Gir giggled. "A Spelling Bee is a skool activity where...-"

"I was just testing you." Zim cut him off, lying. "Dibworm told me already. I know most of the information. I must ask the Computer what words we must spell so I can get ready for the spelling! It'll be easy Gir! We'll be able to take over the world in a matter of seconds, minutes even!"

Zim walked over to his trash can and hopped in. "I'm going downstairs to my lab Gir. To ask the Computer the questions! I will be smarter than ever!" He shook his hand in the air. "MANKIND WILL OBEY THE FISSSSSSTTTTT!" He shouted to the sky, as he slowly disappeared into the basement of his house, entering his secret lab.

 ***AT DIB'S HOUSE***

Dib is sitting on his couch watching Mysterious Mysteries. He is gripping a red and white striped box of popcorn, his mouth hung open in suspense as he peered at the screen. A light illuminated a small glow on Dib's face. Gaz slowly hopped down the stairs from her room. She grunted when hearing the Mysterious Mysteries theme song and knew that Dib would no doubly go through a marathon of the hundreds of unnecessary season that show truly had.

She plopped down on the empty space next to a hypnotized Dib, staring at the TV screen, but once she did, Dib broke his gaze from the screen and glanced at Gaz with a bewildered look.

"You want to watch this show with me?!" Dib asked, confused.

Gaz chuckled, an activity she rarely did, but quickly changed her expression. "OF COURSE NOT DIB! I'm MAD at you!"

Dib gulped. "Oh yeah..." He trailed off, remembering everything that happened at skool that day. "Look, I'm sorry I kinda-sorta got in a fight with Zim... but he was being annoying like he usually is. And technically he STARTED the fight... I wasn't even going along with it!"

Gaz rolled her eyes. She snatched the remote controller glued from Dib's hand and turned off the TV with no hesitation.

"HEY!" Dib yelped.

"Don't make me mad Dib!" Gaz spat. "I overheard your dumb little conversation with stupid Zim, and you want to compete against him in the Spelling Bee? HA! You can't even spell ALIEN correctly."

"I thought you told me earlier that you knew Zim wasn't very smart to begin with."

"Maybe I did." Gaz interrupted her brother from talking further. "But you aren't very bright when it comes to spelling either. Sure- you make good grades- but that's only because you get lucky. The closest thing from "smart" you'll ever be is Street-Smart."

Dib once again was offended by his sister's cruel words. He scoffed, glancing in a totally different area from Gaz, trying to hide his vulnerability.

"That's why I've decided to help you..."

Dib stared at his sister, amazed. "What? But I thought you wanted Zim and I to get along?! Why would you help me defeat him in the Spelling Bee?"

Gaz shrugged. "What can I say? I enjoy a little dork battle every once in a while." She replied, a mischievous smile grew on her face.

* * *

It was the next day, Dib and Gaz were sitting next to each other in the cafeteria room once again. Gaz held a dictionary while Dib stared across the table at Gaz, waiting for her to give him the next word to spell.

"Now spell, hemorrhage." Gaz said, reading the word.

"Hemorrhage- H.E.M.O.R.R.H.A.G.E- hemorrhage." Dib responded, hoping he was correct.

Gaz smiled tenderly, she lifted her head from the book. "Wow, nice job."

"Are you... proud of me?" Dib asked, overly-dramatic, as his eyes filled with happy tears.

"No."

Suddenly, the table bounced at an abrupt force, and there stood Zim glaring at Dib with a wide smile. "Today is the day of the Spelling Bee!" Zim chanted, almost as if he were signing the words. "Are you ready to face the wrath of my deathly blows of knowledge?!"

"Spell it." Dib challenged.

"Spell what?"

"Knowledge."

Zim laughed. "Oooh, that's easy. Knowledge- K.N.O.W.L.E.D.G.E- knowledge."

The bell rang for lunch to be over; including skool. Zim glanced over at Dib and Gaz with narrowed eyes. "See you at the Spelling Bee!" He chanted once again, and left the cafeteria, heading for the boy's restroom. Once he got inside, he knocked on one of the stalls, and Gir popped out in a different suit, a suit that made him look like a small sized human.

"Alright Gir, are you ready... for the Spelling Bee?"

Gir giggled, each giggle sounding louder and louder, and even a little menacing. Zim joined in with him, laughing hysterically.

A toilet flushed in one of the stalls, ending Zim and Gir's little laughter-fest, and out came Keef. Keef glanced over at Zim.

"ZIM! MY BESTEST FRIEND? YOU'RE COMPETING IN THE SPELLING BEE TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Zim plastered a confused facial expression. Keef ran up to Zim, and to Zim's annoyance, Keef hugged Zim, squeezing him tight. Zim gritted his teeth, they grind harshly. Zim shoved Keef away from him. "Didn't I cut your eyes out and replace them with red mechanical ones?"

Keef shrugged. "Jhonen is a strange guy, but you gotta love him!~"

Zim didn't reply, he just kept a deadpan facial expression at Keef's annoyance.

"I was excited to hear you're in the Spelling Bee- BECAUSE I'M IN IT AS WELL!" Keef exclaimed proudly. He jumped up and down like a maniac, gripping onto Zim's hand. "WE GET TO COMPETE AGAINST EACH OTHER, Bestest Best Friend!"

"Stop calling me that." Zim retorted.

Keef shrugged it off, replying with, "Well, see ya at the Spelling Bee!"

* * *

Dib glanced at the group of kids who are participating in the Spelling Bee. He started biting on his nails, shifting on his feet uncomfortably. Gaz looked up at him with disgust. "Ew, Dib, stop chewing on your nails. It's gross."

Dib ignored her comment as he continued to chomp on his nails as if he were snacking on them.

The last three kids entered, Keef entered first, holding the largest smile anyone could possibly imagine. It looked like Keef's face would break at any given second. He waved around at all the competitors, but none of them waved back. Pretty much everyone in skool thought Keef was just as obnoxious as Dib. Then, Zim and his disguised robot slave entered next. Dib stared at Gir, having a feeling that he's seen that little man before. Before he could mention anything out loud, Gir jumped up on a podium and over-exaggeratedly waved at everyone participating in the Spelling Bee.

"HEYO AIREE-BODY!" Gir shrieked with happiness right into the microphone, making everyone cringe. "My name is Mr. Pineapple! I will be your Person-Who-Tells-You-If-You-Spelled-The-Question-Correct-Or-Incorrect MAN! And trust me when I say this, that I am not AT ALL a robot who pretending to be a teacher to help the green kid over there to win!" Gir laughed, stupidly pointing at Zim.

Zim face-palmed himself.

"Now let's get to it! First contestant!" Gir said, gesturing to a tall girl with emo haircut and all black clothes.

"My name is Can...-" The girl began, but Gir interrupted her.

"I don't care what your name is." Gir said in the sweetest way ever, despite the sentence sounding immensely rude. "Just spell the word- Pineapple- LIKE MY NAME!"

The girl sighed in the mic, but quickly regained composure. "Pineapple- P.I.N.E.A.P.P.L.E- Pineapple."

"You are correct sir!" Gir giggled, and began asking the next competitor.

As time passed, a large majority of the kids competing lost on the first try, mostly because Gir was cheating on purpose to help Zim win, but also because most of the kids in skool are ignorant. Zim went up next, smiling smugly over at Dib.

"AAAAAAlllright KID I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT! Your word issssss: IS!"

Dib's mouth flew open in shock. _WHAT?! That's the EASIEST word in the book!_

Zim looked up in the sky, playing it off like he didn't know the answer. "Hmmm... that's difficult... Is- I.S.- Is!"

"You are correct sir!"

Zim looked straight at Dib, smiling at him, Zim's sharp menacing teeth showed, not only scaring Dib, but also making him frantic. Keef was about to go next, but Dib pushed him aside. "Ok, it's MY turn!" Dib yelped right at Mr. Pineapple aka: Gir.

Gir smiled. "OK!~ Next word is: Czechoslovakia."

Dib's eyes enlarged. "W-wh... What?"

"CZECH-O-SSSS-LOVAKIA!" Gir sang.

Dib's eyes flung in different directions as his anxiety piled higher. "C-c-could you... use that in a s-sentence?" Dib stammered, barley able to make a word out. He started sweating, he cracked his knuckles right next to microphone. The cracking echoed throughout the room, much to the audience's annoyance.

"Czechoslovakia is a former country in central Europe."

Dib gulped. He started feeling dizzy as all eyes landed on him. "G...uh..." He stole a glance at Zim. Zim covered his mouth, desperately trying to stifle the laughs he felt as he watched Dib's embarrassment. Dib HATED Zim. And he WOULDN'T allow him to cheat and get away with it. Dib finally spelled the word out. "Czechoslovakia... uh...- C.Z.E.C.H.O.S.L.O.V.A.K.I.A.- C-czechoslovakia...?"

Gir glanced down at his notecard with the word printed on it. Gir would have said no... if Dib got it wrong! Gir stared at the word in shock. "YOU ARE CORRECT SIR!" Gir threw the notecard in the air with disbelief.

This time, Zim's mouth flung open in shock. "Whhhhhat?"

Dib batted his eyes, bragging. "Oooh, what can I say? I am obviously the best speller here."

Keef was surprised too. Keef started walking up to the podium so he could say his next word, but Zim stormed over to Dib, forcefully pushing Keef aside. Keef fell on the ground harshly, but somehow still contained that same contagious smile he held throughout the entire day. Keef merely laughed at his pain.

Zim snarled at Dib. "You? The BEST speller here? I beg to differ!" Zim looked over at Gir, winking at him. Zim stood up on the podium, fiercely, and grinned wickedly. "Give me your best shot, Mr. Pineapple!" Zim shouted at Gir, the competition getting the best of him.

Gir, not really getting the memo that Zim actually wanted to get a challenging word, gave him an easy one. "Your word is: Are...-"

"NO! GIVE ME THE LONGEST MOST TROUBLESOME WORD YOU HAVE ON YOUR CARD!" Zim hollered, shaking his fist angrily in the air. Dib just stood in the back as this was happening, staring at Zim awkwardly.

Gir gasped overly-dramatic, but managed to find the most arduous word. "Whatever ya say... master... your word is: Bureaucracy!"

"BUREAUCRACY- B.U.R.U.A.C.R.A.C.E.E- BUREAUCRACY!"

"You are incorrect sir!"

"YESSS! YESS IN YOUR FACE DIB... wait... huh?" Zim screamed in Dib's face before realizing exactly what Gir said.

"You got it wrong, Zim." Dib said, plainly.

"WHAT! This WASN'T the plan GIR...- Uh, I mean, MR. PINEAPPLE! I got that one right, right?"

Dib took a look at Zim's flabbergasted expression. He chuckled, and poked Zim's arm, teasingly. "Nice try, alien boy. Ha..ha... looks like you lost."

"Technically... no, not yet." Gir interrupted Dib.

Dib paused. "Wha..."

"Keef hasn't yet finished!" Gir gestured to Keef whom was practically unconscious on the floor. Once he heard his name called, Keef hopped up from his position on the ground, filled with energy yet again.

"THAT'S ME!" He squealed, standing on the podium, his chest puffed up, ready for his word.

"Mr. Pineapple." Zim gritted his teeth. "I have a request. If Keef gets this one correct, he wins and Dib loses."

Dib rolled his eyes. "...and what if he messed up?"

Zim sighed. "Then... you... w-w-in..." It hurt Zim to put "win" and "Dib" in the same sentence.

"Alright Keef! Are you ready for your word?" Gir asked.

"Yup!"

"Your word is: Hemorrhage."

Dib jerked up a bit, twisting his face to watch Keef with eager eyes. _I remember spelling that..._ Dib thought to himself.

At this point, Dib didn't mind if Keef won. Dib never hung out with Keef. Dib would much rather Keef beat him at something, then Zim. So Dib watched in amazement as Keef spelled it correctly, carrying not even one hesitation.

"Hemorrhage- H.E.M.O.R.R.H.A.G.E- Hemorrhage."

"KEEF WON EVERYBODY!~"

Keef beamed brightly as he was handed a fake, plasticy trophy. He dotted his teary eyes with a napkin. "T-thank you everybody." Keef sniffled. "I promised myself I wouldn't cry... b-but..." Keef then began sobbing, happy tears flew down his cheeks. Eventually Gir held his hand, and walked Keef off the stage.

Zim and Dib shared a glance and chuckled simultaneously.

"Well, looks like we both lost." Dib shrugged.

"Yeah. But you're still stupid." Zim teased.

Dib laughed. "Awh, thanks. You're pretty ignorant too."

* * *

 **((lol, this is a dumb chapter, I know, I didn't know what else to write. ;-;**

 **Sorry for this being, like, 4 months late. I was working on it for a long time because I was writing on other stories and I didn't know how to continue it. I still hope you enjoyed this chapter tho. More chapter coming soon. :) ))**


	5. Friend Feud

**(( I'm changing the cover art and description for this story eventually. The story will still be the same; little one-shots I write in my spare time, but I feel if I make the bio more interesting, it'll grab more people's attention. The cover would do the same. ))**

* * *

In Zim's towering and crooked home, Gir bounced softly on the purple couch as he watched the TV. With each bounce, he giggled to himself, taking joy in basically nothing. Gir then jumped down, snatched a taco off the coffee table, and then plopped back down lazily once again, getting ready to mindlessly stare at whatever show may be running at the moment.

A show's theme song began playing, and Gir smiled broadly, singing along to the theme song.

"FRIEND FEUD! COME CATCH US AAAAAAT: FRIEND FEUD!~" Gir flailed his arms in the air, continuing to laugh.

Zim shuffled through his house, silently making his way over to the noisy and obnoxious TV. Zim groaned as he clenched his aching forehead. "Gir... what have you found now?" He barely breathed through his gritted teeth.

Gir peered over at his exhausted master. "Oh heeeyyy Master! Good morning to ya. I'm just watching my FAVORITE SHOW: Friend Feud!"

Zim rubbed his eyes harshly, before taking a seat next to Gir. "Really? I thought your favorite show was that show about jumping monkeys... or something with monkeys..."

"I love so many shows, I can't choose one!" He squealed. "Just watch a part of it."

Zim shrugged, glancing at the glowing screen he stared at the TV, getting sucked into the program.

A man with so much Botox, beamed creepily at the camera. He was wearing a black suit with a red tie. His hair was perfectly, and uncannily slicked back. It glistened in the shining lights and he waved at his live audience arrogantly.

"Hello everyone! Welcome to Friend Feud!- where YOU -yes, I said YOU- can enter this gameshow with your best friend and compete against another group of friends, fighting for ONE MILLION DOLLAR CASH PRIZE! You can do a lot with one million dollars. You can turn your ugly appearance into something FABULOUS... LIKE ME! You can buy an entire mansion with three swimming pools, a hot red Lamborghini AAAAND swanky outfits." The man's voice boomed powerfully, almost like it could come to life and leap through the TV screen.

 _Millions of moneys?_ Zim thought as his eyes stayed glazed to the screen. _I'm not quite sure how much that truly is.. but it sounds evil!_

"Now let's begin with our competitors. Here we have our first group of friends: Lola and Lanai!"

Lola skipped over to the host along with her companion, Lanai. Lola and Lanai were wearing matching outfits. They had pink and white sparkly dresses, the dressed whipped around, falling on the ground behind them as the walked. They were even wearing similar friendship bracelets.

"Hi everyone." Lola exclaimed annoyingly into the microphone. "My name's Lola and this is my BFF Lanai. We are like, totally 100% gonna win, right Lanai?"

Lanai smiled over at her. "Totes, gurrrl!" They both squealed at the same time, as if they were in disbelief to actually be on TV.

"And the second group of friends: Christopher and Daniel!"

Daniel and Christopher looked extremely different from one another. Daniel looked nerdy, his blue braces and large rimmed glasses gave that away automatically. He was skinny, but a normal height. Christopher, on the other hand, wore sweatpants and a jockish jacket. He obviously was one for sports, and he, too, waved out at the audience just like the host did. This time, however, the teen girls in the audience went gaga at the sight of him. He winked at them, they sighed and swooned.

"Yo, yo, yo, how you go?" Christopher asked into the mic, as his glistening white teeth nearly cracked the camera with its glitz and glam. "My bro and I are definitely gonna win."

The show continued to go on; Lola and Lanai were in the lead. "Alright -lovely ladies- Lola... can you tell me what your BFF's favorite food is?" The host asked, leaning into the two girls.

The girls giggled simultaneously, before Lola finally answered. "Uhm... duh! Her favorite food would be Dragon Roll sushi with eel, crab, and cucumber and avocado on the outside."

A buzzer beeped a large red X, meaning Lola got the answer wrong. She gasped in anguish and twisted to face her best friend.

"That's NOT my favorite... I like California Rolls..." Lanai whispered, abashed by her companion's mess up.

"WHAT?!" Lola shouted. "Just yesterday you informed me that you loved Dragon Rolls!"

"Well... I changed my mind before we got here."

Lola's expression changed from flabbergasted to completely psychotic. Her thin blonde eyebrows narrowed and her teeth began to grind. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" She sneered, getting delirious. Before anyone could say anything, Lola pounced at her friend, and they began wrestling on the ground in front of thousands of live people. The people didn't seem to mind though; this was normal for them. Instead of worried gasps or murmurs, the audience merely laughed at the two girls roughhousing, biting and clawing at each other. The host was no help either.

"Wow!" The host exclaimed with that same eerie smile he could never change, "Look at that cat fight!" He laughed at himself like the was the most hilarious comedian that ever lived. "Well, as they fight, we'll cut to commercial break and continue the game further more!"

Zim chuckled criminally as the two fought. Yes- the show was indeed a terrible "reality TV gameshow" piled with crude humor, bratty teens and awful morals, but Zim had to admit he loved the drama. He loved ever inch of nasty glare the enemies shot at each other and he loved it when those two girls fought.

"I told you you'd like it." Gir smiled at Zim, but Zim rolled his eyes playfully.

"But you see Gir, I love it for a different reason. I enjoy the battles, the fighting and drama! That's all I need in my life. To grab popcorn and watch wars! WARS GIR-"

Zim was stopped midsentence when he had a sudden thought. Zim didn't just like viewing drama from afar like any bystander... he also liked to start drama.

And the best way to start drama...

...would be to enter that gameshow.

* * *

Gaz was sipping the infamous Poop Cola. She turns off all the lights in her bedroom, her room is devoured in darkness. She begins taking in deep reassuring breaths. as if she is trying to meditate. A couple knocks could be heard just faintly. Gaz opens one eye, hearing the sound, but just as she heard it, she ignored it, closing both eyes again and concentrating on thinking of things she at least semi-enjoyed.

But the knock was heard again, this time with sharp doorbell rings, and this time, Gaz knew someone was at the door. She growled, not wanting to get up, so she yelled at Dib.

"DIIIIIB! GET THE DOOR!"

Did Dib get the door? Of course not... so once the doorbell chimed one last time, Gaz hopped onto her feet, muttered things about how Dib would pay for forcing her to answer the door. She slammed the door open, and was greeted to Zim waving at her.

Almost as if instinct took in, Gaz slammed the door on Zim's face, bumping his "nose".

"OUCH!" Zim wailed. He didn't get the memo though, as he continued to poke repetitively at the doorbell once again.

Gaz groaned as she threw open the door. "WHAT DO YOU WANT, ZIM?" She screamed at him.

"Ever heard of that gameshow called: Friend Feud?" Zim cut to the chase.

"Yes..." Gaz murmured, barely audible.

"Well, since we are have so many similar interests, we're basically siblings... I was wondering if... well... I don't know... you'd like to join with me and get that moneys?" He grinned widely.

Gaz grunted. "I HATE that gameshow."

Zim's grin dropped for a split second, but he raised it, still believing he could convince Dib's mean-spirited sister in following through his little plan anyway. "Oooh, c'mon Gaz! The show isn't toooo terrible. And besides, we are the bestest of friends- so I'm sure we'll win automatically!"

Gaz chuckled a laugh of disbelief. "You're kidding right?"

Zim didn't respond. He merely scrunched his eyes in confusion and stared inelegantly at her.

Gaz sighed. "Zim... I want you to name THREE things in which we have in common... and maybe I will join your dumb little parade."

Zim smiled cheesily but in the inside he felt his squiggley-splooch twist. "Well... number 1: We both hate Dib." He paused for a second, holding that smile before finally opening his mouth again. "2: we uh... hate Dib?" He repeated.

Gaz rolled her eyes.

"Go away Zim."

"Did I mention we both hated Dib? THAT MAKES THREE! Therefore you must enter the gameshow with me!" Zim said, prancing around her stoop like a moron, until Gaz slammed the door on him once again, but this time it made Zim fall due to its brutal force. Zim didn't let himself feel humiliated. He then began pounded on the door like a maniac. "Oh c'mon! I wanna makes some moneys!"

"Why don't you just enter with Gir? You know a lot more about him than you do with me." Gaz stated.

Zim mentally whacked himself in the face. "Yes... YES! That WOULD work! You are very shrewd my dear friend." Zim complimented Gaz oddly. He then rushed away from the Membrane household, leaving Gaz sighing to herself, happy she was left alone to meditate.

* * *

"Sorry kid, no dogs allowed." The man guarding the front entrance muttered.

Zim scowled but slowly shuffled away, staring at the cement sidewalks as Gir ambled quietly beside him. "Aww... I'm sowwy mastaa. I know you wanted that moneys."

Zim shrugged. He knew he'd find someone else to enter the gameshow with. Zim took a glimpse at his surroundings, seeing if anyone around him was someone he knew at skool, and could try to beg them to join him somehow, but the only person he could spot was Keef. Of course, Zim strayed away from Keef. Zim WASN'T going to be "buddy-buddies" with Keef.

Eventually Zim came to the conclusion that everyone he met was either someone who completely ignored his desperate attempts, or people he despised in general, so Zim decided to walk peacefully around the park. The weather was windy but pretty warm, and it calmed Zim. Despite Zim hardly ever being calm. Zim usually purposely made himself angry just so he could hurt random strangers, but at this moment, he felt relaxed and tranquil... that is until he saw bushes across from him shake abnormally abrupt and sudden, as if something or someone was hiding in them.

Filled with suspicion and curiosity, Zim tip-toed over to the bushes, peering in them, and was startled by his arch-nemesis: The Gigantic Headed Dib.

Zim let out a very girly screech and Dib jumped at this reaction as he began screaming too. They screamed in unison for a couple seconds, until Zim punched Dib, causing him to fall.

"Ouch!" Dib complained, he gently stood up from Zim's sudden smack, dusting his clothes off from the dirt and prickly bush leaves.

"Why were you spying on me?" Zim asked, "invading"((haha, get it?)) Dib's space.

Dib took a few paces back, almost falling again, before he regained posture by pushing Zim back slightly. "How are you not used to this already? I always spy on you." Dib said nonchalantly.

Zim crossed his arms. "You're a freak."

"It takes one to know one, doesn't it?" Dib retorted, as he tried to escape, but Zim quickly caught hold of his trench coat, yanking him back, causing Dib to choke a little.

As they continued their miniature argument, the host from Friend Feud just happen to see their pushing and mocking, bringing joy to the mentally insane host. He strode over to them. Everyone in the park stopped what they were doing to watch him. Little girls dropped their jump ropes in awe, teenagers peered up at him, their eyes gleamed in shock; they immdietaely recognized him. Even some of the adults and elders paused their jogging to sneak a peek at the narcissistic host.

Everything was dead silent except Zim and Dib's small fight. The host cleared his throat once he was standing eerily close to the two of them. He plastered one of his scary smiles as the both Zim and Dib glanced up at him with questioning eyes. Dib took large paces backwards, frightened by the host's random collide.

Well... that and his terrifying Botox injections.

"Whoa!" Zim gaped. "You look even creepier in real life!"

Dib shot a deadly glare Zim's way, but Zim didn't seem to notice nor care.

"Hello. You look like idiotic children in need of adventure, fun and more!- at my gameshow -of course." The man took out a card with a picture of him and his name on it. It was a business card, as it also carried information of Friend Feud. "Friend Feud is the name."

Dib and Zim shared a glance, and then broke into laughter. The host frowned, but due to his Botox, it looked more like he was gritting his teeth uncomfortably.

Dib dabbed his tearful eyes. "D-d-did I just hear him say... FRIEND?!" Dib choked, barely able to make out a word.

Zim nodded, also starting to tear up. "He did!" He exclaimed, humored.

The host stared as blankly as he could at them, impatiently waiting for them to stop their laughter-fest. Once the two calmed down, he continued. "Look, kids, I'm a man with many words, words I would probably get arrested for spouting out at you. So it's either you enter my gameshow- with the chance to win millions of cash prize, may I remind you- or you can both go on with your sad, miserable lives: No adventure, No fun, No nothing."

Dib shared another look with Zim. "Our lives are pretty adventurous because I know this ALIEN!" Dib shouted, pointing a finger at Zim.

The host was confused for a second, but began smiling once again. _Haha... that moron thinks his lil' friend is some kind of space creature. I could really make money off these two._

For once, Zim ignored Dib's attempt to expose his alien self to the world. Zim couldn't stop thinking about that moneys. He was eager to enter the gameshow, no matter what. Maybe pretending to be Dib's friend to get that moneys wouldn't be that bad of an idea.

Zim smiled along with the host. "Haha, my pal and I are just faking it," Zim cringed at the word "pal", "we are 100% without a doubt best friends whom want to join your gameshow!" Zim wrapped an arm around a bewildered Dib.

"What?" Dib asked out loud, in disbelief this was actually happening. Zim quickly covered Dib's mouth.

"Good." The host smiled maliciously before he responded with. "Follow me, stupid children."

Zim and Dib followed their escort, ambling through the fallen leaves, crackling underneath their feet.

"What are you doing?" Dib leaned over to Zim to whisper in his ear.

"Entering the gameshow!" Zim exclaimed, plainly. "What does it look like?"

Dib squinted in confusion. "But why with me?"

"Don't you want to win the moneys?" Zim asked. "Now be quiet and let Zim do the WINNING!" He whisper-shouted, shaking his fist near Dib's face.

Dib rolled his eyes and opened his mouth, about to say something to counter Zim's simple-minded plan, but he quickly shut it, a tiny thought was planted in his mind. As much as he didn't want to pretend being friends with Zim, he was intrigued with the gameshow as a whole. The gameshow was the 2nd most popular show on TV... and personal questioned would be asked about another...

..meaning Dib could expose Zim for the alien he truly was.

Yes- Dib did try to do something like this once, on Mysterious Mysteries they asked Dib, Zim, Gaz and Gir on set as a last resort.

Maybe Dib could try it again? Maybe it could actually work this time.

So with that in mind, Dib nodded at Zim with an ambiguous grin. "Of course... you are right... moneys it is!" Dib squealed girlishly, but not because of the thought of moneys.

* * *

Dib squinted in the dark, he could feel shocks of both excitement and worry combined in a big ball zapping through his body, unable to escape. Zim shot a glare Dib's way. "Uhh, are you ok? You're strangely giddy..."

"OH! I'm fine!" Dib beamed, shouting a little too loudly.

From behind the backstage door, Zim and Dib could hear a live audience cheering and whistling, and then heard the host announcing his gameshow and such. Dib squealed silently to himself, causing Zim and the opponents standing next to them to glare at him.

"Welcome to FRIEND FUED!" The host said, waving out at everyone and winking at the camera. "Let's meet our first contestants!" He gestured toward to backstage door, and out came a girl and boy, the boy was tall and built, very muscular, and the girl had ravishing beautiful red hair. Her curls bounced as she smiled widely, showing her dorky pink braces out at everyone as she waved excitably. "Our first group of friends are: Abby and Jack!"

"HIIIIII~" Abby screamed, skipping around.

"And the next group of friends are: Dib and Zim!"

Zim and Dib trudged simultaneously over to the host, Dib stifling his smiles as well as he could. Everyone in the audience clapped with glee. Both Zim and Dib waved at everyone and then headed over to where they would begin asking questions about their "friends".

"You better not mess this up." Zim whispered in Dib's ear. "Powerful Zim wants to earn those moneys- no matter what!"

Dib rolled his eyes.

"Ok! The first question- Abby, what is your friend's favorite color?" The host asked.

"Green!" Abby randomly blurted. The red 'X' gleamed on the board, and Abby shrieked in shock. "WHAT?"

"My favorite color is orange.." Jack murmured next to her.

The host giggled in amusement. "We-e-elll... you know what that means folks! When you miss the first question, you get a pie to the face!" The host pressed a red button, and once hitting said button, two pies flung out at Jack and Abby, splashing in both their faces. The audience laughed and pointed.

Zim began chuckling as well.

"Alright you two. Dib- what is your friend's favorite insult he uses?"

Dib glanced over at Zim. "Oh that's easy. Big Headed Stink-Human. That- and Dibworm. I should know."

A green check mark popped on the screen, and Zim's mind burst with joy at the thought of them getting in the lead, gaining all the moneys he'd ever imagine.

The show went on; Dib and Zim continuously won points whereas Jack and Abby won humiliation and years and years of pain. Dib couldn't help but wince at the agony those two went through, but Zim didn't mind. In fact, Zim quite enjoyed the pain. He'd watch Jack and Abby have more pies thrown at them, punches, and sometimes boiling hot water burned on their skin, making everything steam and fizz.

"Zim- what does your friend what to be when he grows up?"

"A paranormal investigator." Zim laughed to himself. "Personally... I think the only job he'd ever get would be a janitor."

A green check mark gleamed on screen for the 5th time. Dib rolled his eyes, scoffing, he replied sarcastically. "Ha-ha-ha, stop talking!" Dib kicked Zim's shin.

"Dib- who does your friend live with?"

"A robo-"

Zim punched Dib's arm roughly.

"Ouch-uh I mean... a light green pet dog that _may_ or _may not_ be a robot."

The screen glowed green once again. The host's face brightened in one way or another. "And now, for the FINAL question! This one's gonna be tricky Zim." The host's eyes glowed with a villainous feel. The host pulled out another button, and pressed it, but this time strong, metal cuffs wrapped around Dib's arms and legs. Dib peered down, jumping in his seat, but was unable to move.

"Wh-what?" Dib hardly squeaked. A towel was stuffed forcefully into his mouth as a gag.

Zim was also confused. Zim jumped up, filled with surprise a normal host would tie his mortal enemy in front of his eyes. Then a large gun popped out the ceiling, aiming right at Dib's heart. Usually the audience would laugh at any drama that would pop up in the show- whether it be fighting, the infamous pie-to-the-face, and other shenanigans that would appear. But they've never seen the host go this far. Each audience member stopped giggling. Their cheerful expression evaporated, turning into worried, distress gasps and murmurs.

It was like the host was waiting to use this gun against someone.

"How many of those buttons do you have?!" Zim exclaimed in horror. "...And where can I buy one?"

The host shrugged. "Lots of them, some even I forgot existed. Now Zim, this all might seem so unexpected and fast... but I like to play games." The host stepped closer to Zim, making him stumble backwards. The host was so lean and lanky, Zim had to strain his neck uncomfortably just to peer up at the heinous host.

"Zim. I've known you and Dib have hated each other since the beginning. See this shiny red button?" The host handed Zim the button gently. Zim took hold of the button, staring at it with apprehensive eyes.

"Y-yes..." Zim stammered.

"You have two options, Zim. Either you press the button and watch your enemies demise, or you twist the knob underneath it," The host pointed to the spiral knob beneath it. "and you and Dib and greeting to safety, along with the cash prize!"

Zim was disoriented. All of this felt like some kind of weird fantasy, like he couldn't believe what was actually happening. "Uh... question." Zim began, "If I press the button to watch Dib's death, will I also get the moneys? Or is that only accurate if I twist the knob and save him?"

"You only get the cash if you save him." The host practically sparkled with evil. "But either way Zim!- It's a win-win situation for you! The person you most hate dying right in front of your eyes...-" The host trailed off, gesturing to a struggling and fearful Dib. Saying Dib was scared would be an understatement. He was trying desperately to unlock the tight cuffs somehow, but of course he couldn't pry them off. Dib looked at the gun, expecting it to shoot any second. Zim smiled for a split second, taking a muse in his arch nemesis' frightened state, but the smile faded just as soon as it came. "-or millions of dollars!" Zim was stuck in a trance, trying to think of the best option.

 _Millions for moneys? Or... the death of Dib?_

This was certainly a difficult decision for Zim. The only reason why he joined this dumb gameshow was to win moneys. He sighed, but glanced up at Dib in his suffering state one last time, enjoying the moment.

Zim then twisted the knob, not regretting anything, and the gun vanished back into the ceiling, the gag fell straight to the ground, and the cuffs immediately slipped away. Dib jumped up with fright, as he screamed his big head off, he rushed out of the building.

"You're welcome!" Zim called after him.

The host laughed. "Interesting decision, Zim. Welp- here's the thing you came here for." The host pulled out a large briefcase, and slid it over to Zim. Zim picked it up, opening it with glittering eyes, in love with the sight presented to him. There stood a million moneys, in counting. Zim held the case as well as he could. Moneys was heavier than he thought they'd be. "I'd love to see you sometime soon, Zim."

Zim smiled, sheepishly.

"I sure won't!" And he rushed out the building, following almost the exact steps Dib took.

* * *

 ** _Was the ending rushed? I'm not sure... I actually enjoyed writing this chapter, despite taking a few days to get all my ideas planned out, lol._**

 ** _More chapters will be coming up soon! ^-^_**


	6. Hiatus

Sorry I haven't updated this story in a while. If you want, you can leave some requests for chapter ideas in the comments. You can leave a short description and I'll try to replicate the idea the best I can. I need ideas anyway.

Thank you SO MUCH for all the support you guys have given me, and I PROMISE more chapters are on their way. Love ya guys!~

Gir loves you too!


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